Elon Musk made his bed, and then made the further mistake of letting D*n*ld Tr*mp between the sheeTS. Now, he has to lay there.
The recent news about Musk’s calling to account—in the form of an election bribery scandal—doesn’t tell us anything we didn’t know.
The former DOGE head’s cryptic made comments to his former girlfriend about winning the election for Tr*mp via “space lasers,” but he also did something much more actionable, according to Wisconsin election officials.
It boils down to this: in 2024, Musk promised funds to state voters who signed petitions in support of his right-wing cuases, all through his America PAC.
A year later, in 2025, he did the same thing: at least three Wisconsin voters received large checks allegedly for supporting Republican Supreme Court candidate Brad Schimel.
Even more citizens received smaller payouts for signing Musk-backed petitions.
The state’s law is clear about what constitutes election bribery, and Musk’s actions fit the bill.
If Schimel had won, it would have constituted a flip from Democrat to majority Republican control in the battleground state.
Fortunately, despite Musk’s best efforts, that did not happen.
But since he was sloppy as hell in handing out money to voters, justice is on the way to being served.
Loser stuff, as usual.
But the real gag is that while Musk is on a losing streak, his trans daughter Vivian Jenna Wilson remains on the ascent.
In the past few years, Wilson has publicly disowned Musk and taken her rightful place in the pantheon of living queer legends.
Usually when we see Wilson, she’s looking stunning on the runway or dropping hilarious insights on the state of the nation in a podcast.
But on a recent episode of DropOut TV’s “Smartypants,” she dips her toes into politics.
Wilson knows that we need more queer politicians if we’re ever going to dig ourselves out of this MAGA hole.
But that’s not the only reason.
In her powerpoint presentation, Wilson makes the true case for more queer talent in all branches of government: to offset all those ugly Republican mugs taking up space in our nation’s capital!
“We need more gays in government,” Wilson tells her hosTS. “And no, not for any admirable reason, like wanting equality or representation…the reason we need more gay people is because everyone is chopped.”
Listen, no lies detected in that statement.
Not only are so many of the Republicans so old they’re actually dying (Lindsey Graham) or so incapacitated they’re missing votes on the Senate floor (Mitch McConnell,) the majority of them are just not wonderful to look at.
But if there’s one thing about queer people, we know how to dress to impress, serve looks, and get things done in style.
“We want young people to aspire to be involved in their local communities,” Wilson says.
“Who is going to aspire to looking like bleached cauliflower?”
Excellent question, and the answer is: no one.
Wilson makes a brilliant point, and her timing, as usual, is impeccable.
With Republicans losing bodies in the Senate and the House, our time to take over the world is now.
The young, openly queer politicians we do have, such as Gen Z City Council member Chi Ossé and reps.
Ritchie Torres and Mondaire Jones, are stunning.
But Wilson is correct: we need more.
And based on how brilliant her argument is, maybe she needs to blaze that trail herself by running for office.
If she does, she’s got our vote locked up, zero bribes necessary.
